It’s Callum,
a paramedic I haven’t seen in a while, a nice surprise.
‘Hey
Callum! How are things, man?’
‘Yeah,
good. Good.’
We shake
hands over the boy on the floor, who vomits copiously, adding to a mess of the
same that stinks up his hair, face, hands, clothes.
‘Euw! So
- how’s it working out at the new station?’
‘Not bad.
Not bad, thanks. I miss it here though.’
Yeah,
right.’
The patient’s
friends laugh around us; I smile and say hi and hello to them all, conscious of
the fact that I’m probably over-playing the sang-froid, Saturday night
game-show schtick.
‘I’m
guessing you do this a lot, then?’ says one girl, shivering, and clutching her
jacket collar more tightly around her as the rain drifts down more insistently.
‘A fair
bit. So – what’s the story with this one?’
‘Lucas, nineteen.
He’s been drinking a lot tonight, starts to feel wobbly, his friends bring him
outside to freshen up in the air. Starts to collapse, they put him in the
recovery position where you see him today. No drugs, is that right?’
His
friends shake their heads and say the usual things.
‘Only we
don’t care,’ says Callum. ‘We’re not the police. We just need to know the facts
so they can treat him at the hospital.’
No
drugs.
‘Rousable.
No PMH to speak of.’
I lean
in and prod Lucas behind the ear.
‘Hell-ooo?
Lucas?’
He bats
at my hand with his own horror-version.
‘Well.’
‘Dear,
dear.’
‘It’s a
shame, all right.’
The
music from inside turns up a notch.
A guy
steps forward, introduces himself as Alex, an old school friend of Lucas.
‘I’m in
my first year at uni here and Lucas came up to visit. He’s miles from home.’
‘So it’s
looking like a trip up the hospital to sober up. Can you come with us, Alex?’
‘Yes –
of course.’
‘We’ll
take care of him.’
Callum
and Rae fetch the trolley. Fortunately Lucas is slim; between us we have enough
hands to lift him off the floor without getting any vomit on us. We set him on
his side and load him onto the vehicle. With the noise of the lift going up,
Lucas draped over the trolley, our happy banter, I’m conscious we look and
sound more like waste disposal contractors than paramedics – but that feels
about right. I lay a contingent pattern of inco pads on the floor around the head-end of
the trolley, and then get Alex to sit on a chair with a vomit bowl ready.
‘No
doubt see you later, Callum.’
‘No
doubt.’
We head
in.
*
‘So. Are
you old school friends then?’
‘Yes.
But I came up to uni and Lucas took a gap year.’
We both
look at him, groaning on the trolley.
‘What
are you studying?’ I ask Alex.
‘Physics,’
he says.
‘Oh
yeah? My brother studied physics.’
‘Wow!’
says Alex. ‘It’s a great subject.’
He
fiddles with the vomit bowl as he talks, turning it round and round.
‘I don’t
know what I want to do with it yet, but I’ve got plenty of time. There are so
many fascinating developments, so many areas you can go into.’
‘It is
an amazing field. My brother – he always wanted to be an astronaut, but he had
terrible problems with his eyes so it was never really on the cards.’
Alex
frowns. ‘That’s so frustrating,’ he says, ‘when a physical disability gets in
the way like that. But what can you do? You just have to accept that that
particular avenue is closed off to you, and move on.’
‘Exactly
– which is what he did. He worked in the defence industry for years, then ended
up working for the European Space Agency, on a satellite programme.’
‘That’s
incredible. I’d love to do something like that.’
I nod,
like it was me who did all that and not my brother.
‘What
does he do, exactly?’
‘Oh.
Well. He’s explained it plenty of times, but I never really understood.
Software engineer, something like that.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yep.’
Lucas
groans some more and Alex readies himself with the vomit bowl. Nothing comes
out, the moment passes, he relaxes back again.
‘I mean,
take the Higgs-Boson,’ he says, holding up the bowl like he was going to scoop
one out of the air. ‘Think of all the applications coming out of that.’
I look
at the bowl.
‘I must
admit I have no idea how my mobile phones work, let alone the God Particle. But
yeah – an incredible time in physics.’
‘Amazing.’
‘Totally.’
The
ambulance rocks from side to side. Lucas opens his eyes a fraction, and flops
an arm off the trolley.
‘What
was he drinking?’
‘Whisky
of some sort. I didn’t see exactly. I’m guessing approximately twenty one
units.’
‘Okay.’
I write that down.
‘And definitely
no recreational drugs?’
Alex
shakes his head.
‘Lucas
owes you,’ I say to him. ‘Taking care of him like this.’
Alex
smiles and shrugs.
‘Seriously.
It’s a really good thing you’re doing for your friend, tonight. I hope he
appreciates it.’
‘How
long are we going to be up there?’
‘A
while. Four hours, probably more.’
Alex
grimaces, but then settles back.
‘Oh
well,’ he says. ‘What’s time?’
8 comments:
I love the almost Pythonesque surreal nature of that conversation.The idea that you can calmly discuss physics,lifestyle choices so rationally (with an obviously sharp minded,decent chap) whilst below you is an extremely drunk teenager offering the rainbow yawn is a great juxtaposition.
On a completely unrelated note,have you heard from Frank since his retirement Spence?
That last line? Effing brilliant.
Yah, what is time? A great rhetorical question and a fabulous post, Spence, thanks.
Jacks - I was really struck by the idea of the gap year, and the contrast between the two friends. And as far as 'gaps' go, I bet Lucas wouldn't remember much about that particular night!
I'm so tempted to say I've had a bunch of postcards from Frank. Didn't Stephen King or someone write a book about a writer who starts getting postcards from one of their characters? Maybe that'd be a nice little thing to do on the blog ... ;)
Elaine & Lynda - Thanks v much! It's a cheat, really. I'm fed these lines...
Think sometimes I just read your posts for their last lines, Spence! I don't know how you always manage to just nail them.
Thanks v much, JM!
You are just so bloody good at rounding it off..Every. Single. Time!
Cheers for the comment, Hels - and for reading.
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