Monday, September 30, 2013


Jade and Emmy have both taken the same legal high, but it has affected them differently.
Jade doesn’t react to anything around her. She stands on the edge of it all like a bored body-double for herself, doing all the things Jade would be expected to do in that situation, like holding Emmy’s gothic stack shoes, answering her mobile phone (Benny Hill theme tune), talking on the phone – the facts, the reassurances, all with the same monosyllabic intonation – observing as we load Emmy onto the trolley and haul her up the slope from the club forecourt to the ambulance.

I imagine them both choosing a tab with an android logo on it. But if the drug has in fact turned them into robots, Emmy’s circuits have blown. She thrashes around on the trolley in a horizontal dance, saying the same thing over and over again: Come on now, now, now. Come on now, now, now. Come on now, now, now. Let’s have a bit of a tickle. Every so often she goes quiet, and scans the world around her.
Really? she says.

Then flips back to the start.


jacksofbuxton said...

I couldn't help but notice the coincidence of me reading that and listening to Kraftwerk at the same time.

Sadly the track wasn't The Robots,but never mind.Fate was close enough.

Spence Kennedy said...

Perfect soundtrack!

(I wanted to change the Track of the Day to that, but for some reason it won't let me. Curse you, technology!

Anonymous said...

Hmm.... last legal high pt I went to managed to stop breathing adequately for a while but was alert enough for an almighty b*!!0cking from his mum by the time she made it to the hospital. Such a satisying thing to witness while for finishing off my paperwork. Happily all the pts mates who witnessed me bagging him seemed put off the idea of taking it themselves as well. Overall one of those jobs where you find your inner voice screaming at the pt 'aaaargh why did you do this you idiot' but it ended well.

Spence Kennedy said...

Glad to hear it ended well, Anon. It's scary, the dangers involved in taking many of these drugs. I've been to some pretty devastating ODs before; 'androids' probably the least worrying, but even when you think of the personal safety issues (she was definitely incapable),it's a risky business.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely. This particular nastiness was called Clockwork Orange. For legal highs I'll stick to a very occasional G&T, thanks.

Spence Kennedy said...

So far my favourite drug name is 'Gorilla Rage'.

Agree with the G&T, btw. (Just had one - mmm).

Unknown said...

Hi spence, hope your keeping ok. My youngest tried one of these so called legal highs, black mamba, legal joint. His heart rate was so fast, breathing difficulties, chest pain. Very frightening. Luckily, he tried it at home, thought he was being clever whilst his dad n I were asleep early hrs of the morn. A n e drs lectured him big time. Me, once he was ok, bollocked him rigid and clouted him, big as he is. It's frightened him and has swore he will never touch it again. I do believe him as he was so scared. Usually he's a good lad but what a twat for trying it.
It's very sad though when the doctors told us that three other 17 & 19 yr olds have ended up on the slab through this shit. My idiot was very lucky.

Spence Kennedy said...

Black mamba. Not a reassuring brand name, has to be said.

Thank God it all worked all right with your son. I must admit I was the same when I was his age & of course, most kids are. It's probably just as well when I was growing up there wasn't the 'choice' there is now.

Probably the worst hazard is what you do when you're under the influence, driving & taking risks etc. (Did you see that terrifying video clip of the kids speeding in the car high on something, just before they crashed & were killed?)

Having a near-miss is probably a good result. If it keeps him this side of the line, it'll have been worth it.