A&E is overrun, has been all week. Pushing Mrs Riseborough on the trolley through the swing doors, it’s as if we’ve just stepped into the blood and carnage of an epic painting by Delacroix, with a health care assistant waving an x-ray form in the air, rallying the charge.
‘I’ll just go and have a chat with the nurse,’ says Frank, sauntering off through the chaos.
‘How are you feeling?’ I ask Mrs Riseborough. Her breathing is dreadful, a chronic rattle-bag of wheezes and rubs. She didn’t want to bring the nasal canula she uses at home because the respiratory nurse had told her not to take any equipment out of the house. Instead, she’s using one of our low-flow oxygen masks, holding it off a little way from her nose and mouth, like a dowager sniffing an exotic plant.
‘I’m feeling hot and I don’t want anything to make me hotter,’ she says. ‘I hate to feel restricted.’
‘I can understand that.’
A drunk tries to throw himself off a trolley, and his equally drunk friend thinks sitting on him will help. Security run from place to place, restoring order with fat, black leather gloves.
‘I’m sorry it’s all a bit of a mess at the moment,’ I say to Mrs Riseborough. ‘Time of year or something. But hopefully we won’t be too long.’
‘Don’t worry about me, dear. I’m quite comfortable, thank you.’
A scream from behind some curtains. A kid wrapped in a blanket drifts past in bare feet.
‘So. What did you do before you retired?’ I ask Mrs R. to distract her from her surroundings.
‘You’d never guess to look at me now but I was a dancer. I auditioned for the Continental up in town – quite famous in its time. Have you heard of it?
‘Yes. Very famous. A kind of Moulin Rouge cafe revue place, wasn’t it? With comedians and singers between dances?’
‘That’s it. I went up town and auditioned and they said “Okay. You can dance all right, but we need to see how you go.” So they took me on for a week, and renewed the contract every week after that, and that’s how I went on for eight years. I had a wonderful time.’
‘When was that?’
‘Just after the war. About nineteen forty-nine, I should think. A really wonderful time. I worked with all the famous stars. Whatsisname – thought himself a real ladies man. He wasn’t all that, but he wouldn’t be told. And you-know who, off of the telly. We had these skimpy costumes – feathers and lace, all very arty, you know - nothing sordid. I met my Bill there.’
‘How did that happen?’
‘He’d just been demobbed and was up town working. He came by the theatre once and saw me on the stage and really took a fancy to me. So he used to come every night from then on, and in the end he plucked up the courage to have a word with Harry on the stage door – Harry was a lovely man, really knew what was what, really looked after us girls. So Harry said “Of course. Come through and say hello.” So he let him backstage one night. Well, I was coming off stage and there was Bill, looking all shy and shifty and holding out my dressing gown. He was such a dear. So he takes me out to dinner and that was that. And here we are, sixty years later – sixty two actually, if you count the last two, which I do, even though he’s gone now.’
‘Sorry to hear that.’
‘What can you do?’ she says, taking another gasp of air. ‘It’s life and you’ve just got to make the best of it. I said to the doctor “Be straight with me now. I want to know what’s wrong with me and how long I’ve got”. “Are you sure?” he said. And I told him. I said “Absolutely” I said. “I want to be like Bill. I want it laid out flat so I can have a good look at what I’ve got and know what it is I’ve got to do about it.” “Well,” he said, “There’s not an awful lot that can be done about it,” he said. “I should think you’ve got about four to five weeks.” “Good,” I said. “Thank you very much.” Because you know I’ve had a wonderful life and I’m not sorry about going. I’ve had my lot. I danced at The Continental, I married a lovely man, I had a lovely family, and what more can you say about it?”
She lays a frail hand on mine and smiles at me. Her face has been ravaged by illness, but the cheekbones are as high and fine as they must always have been, and her eyes as blue.
‘I was a fabulous dancer,’ she says. ‘And you know what my daughter Chloe said? She said “When you’re gone, Mum, don’t for Gawd’s sake let anyone else have them photos.”
15 comments:
Very touching. When my time comes I hope I have the same peace about it.
May she find her Bill and may their days be spent dancing long into the eternal night.
...and for us as well.
Vivid description of Mrs. Riseborough; I can see her myself.
What does "demobbed" mean?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, they don't make them like they used to.
Another nice one Spence.
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
karla - me too! I thought her peace of mind was fantastic - and prob a mark of a good life well lived.
lynda - that's a lovely image. I can just imagine the two of them dancing off into the night.
CG - she was a very striking lady. Sometimes you can see through all the age & illness related changes and see the person as they were.
'de-mobbed' means released from the army - back onto 'civvy street'.
mike - yep! I love writing out those reminiscences. It's one of the reasons I started the blog - it seemed a shame to waste them!
tpals - thanks!
Cheers for all your comments! :)
beautiful story; very few writers could do it that kind of justice.
Thanks v much, Paul! :)
Really beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes, as your posts so often do, Spence.
Even amongst a scene from an Hieronymus Bosch painting ("Welcome to the garden of earthly delights" is the picture the scene put me in mind of Spence) there is still a rose blooming.
At peace with all around her,no regrets just happy memories.
Thanks Alexia!
JoB - Funny thing about that Bosch painting - the dentist we used to go to as kids had the 'Hell' panel as a poster on the ceiling above the chair! :/
She sounds to have a gracefulness about her; it makes me rather sad when I think of her in A+E when its like that.
I hate it when the department's as rammed as that (as it often seems to be, these days).
But one thing that struck me about Mrs R was her emotional resilience. And I suppose that's the thing to aim for - an inner peace that'll stand up to the buffeting we all face now and then.
Demobbed is short for demobilized. Not a term they used in the US following WWII.
Love the glimpse into her past. Reminded me of my grandmother, who sang in nightclubs in the '30s. Old people need to be listened to, they have so many stories to tell. This week I was in the post office in front of an elderly man who talked about life in the Great Depression 70+ years ago...said he had only just recently started eating soup again!
Thanks, Spence. I always enjoy your gift for description and your interest in human beings.
Hey Tammy
That sounds pretty cool - singing in nightclubs in the 30s. I love those brief insights you get. It's often also a salutory thing, to hear about difficult times. It helps put current events into a broader perspective.
Thanks v much for the comment, and for reading the blog! :)
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