Wednesday, October 16, 2013

stunting

The door slammed shut when Claire went outside to bring in the last of her shopping bags. Her keys were on the kitchen counter along with her phone, so she was forced to climb over a high garden gate to get round the back. As she jumped down, one foot landed in a pile of bin bags. When she put the other foot out to save herself, it disappeared down the drain that had lost its cover a week ago.
‘I can’t believe it. I’ve already had one fracture this year,’ she says, toking on the entonox, her foot up on some cushions. ‘I broke my nose at Christmas. It was right over to the side and I had to have an operation to straighten it. It’ll never be as good as it was, but at least it’s pointing in the right direction. You’re not going to cut my boots off, are you? I bought them to cheer myself up after the nose. Just let me have a bit more gas and I’ll work it off slowly.’
‘How did you break your nose, Claire?’
She leans her head back, her voice lowered an octave by the gas.
‘Cheerleading.’ she says. ‘We were stunting – you know? When you get thrown up in the air and do tricks? Well this girl, she was spinning round and round, and she caught me in the face with her elbow.’
She lifts her head again.
‘Oh God! We’ve got the area championships coming up.’

She reaches forward, and then slowly – agonisingly – starts to ease the boot off.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amazing the amount of pain that people are prepared to go though for footwear.

Spence Kennedy said...

I know! (but to be fair, they were nice boots).

jacksofbuxton said...

Another reason to be added as to why I only do the "Wallflower" dance. (Not to be confused with the Terry Wogan song)

Derek Buck said...

I believe it's the cost of the things, it's more painful to the bank account to replace them.

Spence Kennedy said...

Jacks - That Wallflower dance sounds pretty hardcore. Oh sorry - I thought you said War Flower.

Derek - They did look expensive. But you know the saying: Buy cheap, buy twice.

Eileen said...

Here in Italy it is very unusual to get your ski gear cut off in A&E - it might be Prada don't you know...

I speak from experience after a spiral break of tib & fib (not the Prada I hasten to add). No pain relief until I arrived on the ward (well, a bed in the corridor) at 8pm - went flying at 3.15pm, had been picked up, loaded into a piste basher and transferred to an akia to be taken down in the gondola, transported 35km to hospital down a mountain road, x-rayed, plaster to stabilise it and taken to the ward. Not even entinox.

Maybe it is to discourage repeat offenders - there is a flight twice a week from Innsbruck to Holland and there are quite a few who get frequent flyer points...

Spence Kennedy said...

That sounds terrible, Eileen - inhumane! No pain relief? Blimey. Those Italians are made of tough stuff (or mean stuff, depending how you look at it).

I wouldn't say we were 'shear happy' here, but then again, if I know that someone's got a bad break and we'll struggle to expose the site, I won't hesitate to get snipping. Even if itis Primark. Sorry, Prada.