Where’s the wife? Don’t tell the wife.
Man, 32, lying at the bottom of some concrete steps, his bloody head being held by a police officer.
I’m his uncle. If I say he’s all right, he’s all right
Man, 60, standing over him.
Will I survive the night, d’you think?
Woman, 94, being tucked up in bed after a non-injury fall
Stop! You’re filling me up with drunks.
Nurse in charge of resus
Do you do heart attacks?
Husband of patient, whilst waiting to handover
You can stand down. Towering Inferno turns out to be a barbecue on a balcony.
Fire Command Officer
We’re getting married next month. Maybe I can work this into my speech.
Man, 28, lying on ambulance trolley.
I had the oysters. For some reason.
Woman, 26, scratching and feeling faint on the sofa.
As a Marvel action-superhero films go, it’s pretty shit. But if you take it as a big, trashy gay laugh, it’s brilliant.
Paramedic, taking his thirty minutes in front of Sky movies.
I told the doctor all about it but he wasn’t interested. He never is. You’ve barely got time to sit down before he’s showing you the door.
Do you like cats? These two are nineteen. They don’t do much. But I’ve got some livelier ones in the kitchen.