Monday, August 19, 2013

a plate of cakes

We’re talking outside the hospital about strange jobs we’d been to recently. Gary tells us about the guy with the creatures in his arm.

‘He’d already been up the hospital with it. Even a referral to that specialist place, but they didn’t find anything and wrote it all off as Delusional Parasitosis. Anyway, nice chap. Normal as you like, but his arm was scabbed up like he’d been having a real old go of it, and it was obviously a problem. There! he says. Right there! Can’t you see ‘em? I was pretty neutral about it and didn’t say anything, but to be honest it did look like there might be some tiny little black things in there. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. That’s just what I thought. He wanted me to take a photo with my camera, but I said it wasn’t good enough to pick anything out. Anyway, he said he felt sick with it all and would I take him up the hospital. He went to get his coat and I was standing there, finishing the paperwork. There was this plate of cakes on the table, French Fancies. You can’t beat a nice French Fancy. Help yourself! he says, coming back in. And he picks the plate up and holds it under my nose. I mean, I particularly like the yellow ones – but I’d started to see worms in everything, in that little blister of cream on the top. So I said no thanks.’


tpals said...

I'm surprised he wasn't scratching too. It's hard to even think about things like fleas or lice without getting itchy.

jacksofbuxton said...

Worms in your French Fancies?

That's almost as bad as half a worm in your French Fancy.

Spence Kennedy said...

tpals - Definitely the case that you start to scratch when you talk about these things. An interesting phenomenon, though. There's that whole debate about 'Morgellons' for example. Some famous sufferers, too (Joni Mitchell, I believe...)

Jacks - Never was a fan of your FF. Absolutely off them now that I've got that image in my head, though. ;/

pete said...

I'm on morphine right now, and now I'm all itchy - I blame you, Spence! ;)

Spence Kennedy said...

Here's another subject that'll make you scratch, Pete - nits. The most persistent & resistant creatures known to science. And when you put them under a microscope, they just look back up at the lens and wave.

Yep - another outbreak in the family. So it's out with the nit comb again....

Thank god I've got short hair.

PS Sorry to hear you're on morphine. Hope you feel better soon :)